i turn the music up
Louder
a favor house atlantic
Louder
i want to drown this out, so i drown in this
Louder
my smoke on the horizon, projected to a cloud
Louder
until i feel the bass in my chest, until i remember
Louder
tending bar until morning, sleeping late with the sun
Louder
sinking into the hudson to write, my music carrying the car
Louder
past the catholic school where hope and love and dances fade
Louder
past the matching cars and blonde bobs that aren’t meant to be bobs
Louder
past the cops in ray-bans strolling small humans becoming cops in ray-bans
Louder
clothed in old navy super cash and dead eyed currency and nothing but this
Louder
screaming along as my body beats and my voice becomes the backdrop and right now
Louder
i am nothing and everything and i am this song and this song has destroyed the silence and this song has destroyed me and and every moment that’s ever passed and everything that ever will become and my eyes tell the stories of a day and recall the moments that once have…
—i turn the knob—
Silence
pulling up to my suburban lot
Silence
checking the stains on my face
Silence
they’ll ask if i was crying
Silence
feigned care holding projections
Silence
i don’t fear death
Silence
i only fear what i don’t know
Silence
right now it’s this
Silence
as my body waits for hidden tracks.
Lauren Theresa is a queer divergent writer, plant witch, and depth psychotherapist living in a NYC-ish corner of NJ with her two baby witches and vast menagerie of plants & animals. She's the founding editor and often-missing-chaos-maker @icebreakers_lit, usually found staring at a wall, writing books, publishing shit, or chasing her shadows; all eternally documented at www.laurentheresa.com.
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